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Wildflowers in the Graveyard

by Amber Rubarth

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1.
There are wildflowers springing up at the graveyard, an oak tree that’s been standing here so long, and dandelions pretty in the sunshine ‘til the wind blows and they’re gone. Blue skies make me think winter’s never coming. Feelings always feel like they’ll never end. And my whole life I’ve been working hard at changing, but now I’m just sinking in. And I’m walking to the edge of where the river meets the sky, holding my head up and closing my eyes, and all the answers I’ve been hoping to find are written in the water. Clouds are rolling over. Snake, she sheds her skin. And the wolves are calling out as the moon circles ‘round, casting shadows on the hillside as their voices rise again. Oh, and I’m walking to the edge of where the river meets the sky, holding my head up and closing my eyes, and all the answers I’ve been hoping to find are written in the water. Written in footsteps that crawl across the snow, written in memories that change each time they’re told. All the answers I’ve been hoping to find are written in the water.
2.
Moon 02:24
There’s a place that I found deep inside the trees where there’s nothing but the sound of falling autumn leaves. And as the moon is hanging way up high, you are weighing on my mind. I will give you to the dark, offer up my ways. You’re still with me in my heart every night and day. As the moon is hanging way up high, I’ll be staying here tonight. Fall on my knees and find the words we used to know. Fade out these yesterdays for waters still unknown. If you find as you go that change is in your heart, take a lantern down the road underneath the stars. As the moon is hanging way up high, I’ll be waiting for a light.
3.
Canyon Lines 04:14
If you can’t find my trail of tears, it’s just that I’ve been crying for so many years and I’m trying so hard not to disappear again into the canyon walls so steep, where water cuts the stone like you’d never believe and the echoes become your only friends. Do you remember when you go to sleep at night how the coyote cried a lonesome high and you held me close ’til morning touched my skin? ’Cause now all I can see are the water lines, how it used to be before it ran dry, and I try to believe the river will come again like it did back then. My heart’s still soft for you my love, and every time I look at Orion above, it’s just enough to make a mess out of me. Every hour, every day, it doesn’t seem to matter, time or space, oh the heart strings they run so deep. Do you remember when you go to sleep at night how the coyote cried a lonesome high and you held me close ’til morning touched my skin? ’Cause now all I can see are the water lines, how it used to be before it ran dry, and I try to believe the river will come again like it did back then.
4.
I walked again this morning through the caverns in my mind, heard the echo of my father with his footsteps close behind, and I was standing in the water with my mother holding roses by her side. We stared right there before us at a triangle of light that reflected off the water, though we couldn’t seem to find a single opening above or anywhere leading outside from which it came. And I feel this way every time I see your face and every time I hear that echo sound, like my heart is a chamber that I give away to the mystery of light held underground. I tried to be the one that was the sword inside the stone, but steel it never fit me like the marrow of my bones, that was softer more like poetry, or moonlight hanging on an endless sky. The winds they always blew me though I tried to hold my ground, and you, you always knew me even when you weren’t around, in the silence of a memory or darkness of a fire’s parting light. And I feel this way every time I see your face and every time I hear that echo sound, like my heart is a chamber that I give away to the mystery of light held underground. I feel this way every time I see your face and every time I hear that echo sound, like my heart is a chamber I can give away to the mystery of light held underground.
5.
If I fall asleep again, if I fall asleep again, will the moonlight come and warm my skin if I fall asleep again? If I give it all away, if I give it all away, what becomes of empty space if I give it all away? If I find my way back in, when I find my way back in, will you recognize my moonlit skin ’til I fall asleep again?
6.
New York 02:56
I’ve been living in New York for seven years, now I’m not. Winter’s cold and long, summer’s hot. Spending all my days just keeping what I got, trying to write the words to a song. And everybody else is getting on, everybody else. Came here on my own on a long summer drive from the desert to the east shining sea, and in the hidden valley I found the sweetest stars in the sky, so I sat up at the top of the tree. And everybody else was dancing free, everybody else. Traveled over the ocean, I’ve seen sun from many sides. I’ve seen strong men crawl and babies rise. Ridden on the last train out to Brooklyn late at night, snuck in with the water on my feet. And everybody else was fast asleep, everybody else.
7.
Best I Can 03:43
Isn’t it interesting how I fall in love so easily with anyone who won’t love me back. Caught up in a replay of a childhood memory, wanting most what I can’t have. And every hour of every day I’m building a masterpiece story of who I am. Then chipping at the walls I’ve made, planning my great escape, while holding the key in my hand. It isn’t you, you’re just doing what you do, and I’m doing the best I can, I’m doing the best that I can. I’m doing the best I can, I’m doing the best that I can. It’s written in the stars, it’s written in our blood, it’s written all over my face. We come here to live and we come here to love, we come here and we go away. And oh how I believed that you were meant for me and you’d lose your fight with fate. But maybe I’m choosing each winning and losing, the victories and all my mistakes. It isn’t you, you’re just doing what you do. And I’m doing the best I can, I’m doing the best that I can. I’m doing the best I can, I’m doing the best that I can.
8.
Wishing Song 02:52
I wish our love was a song so when anything went wrong we’d just cross it out and try another rhyme. And we’d start it off so slow, but then we’d really rock ‘n roll. And for days on end it’d run back through our minds. Our love is the song I’d sing tonight. And I wish hearts were colored glass so we’d hear them when they crash, and no one would have to hide it in a crowd. ‘Cause all the people on the streets would pick up pieces at their feet and repair them with the colors all around. If hearts were glass, I’d be out on the town. And if wishes were like gardens that grow, well I’d plant every seed I know. Bury them down deep there in the ground. All around, all around, all around, all around... I wish wars were just a game and we’d write down all the names, tally up the scores there on the side. And every time someone would win, we’d all go back home again, wink at them and say “Next time...” If wars were games, we’d all be alive. And I wish our love was a song so when anything went wrong, we’d just cross it out and try another rhyme.
9.
I was wishing it was last year when you held me in the rain, oh but nothing lasts forever, nothing really goes away... no, it all just slips around in different forms and different spaces throughout time. And time is not a constant, not a line like we pretend, we make up seven days a week to explain how it began. Oh but time is more like fabric, how it wrinkles and it bends like the cover on my bed when you slept over. So let’s just take a minute as we say our goodbyes, I want to take my time here with you, want to look you in the eyes. Never was a word that could easily describe what this silence here between us says as we walk into the night. So we drive out to the country and we look out at the sky, and this feeling that surrounds us, well it’s one we can’t deny. But I’ve been learning ‘bout the stars and the time it takes their light, they’ll be gone for years before we’ll even know it. So we wish upon a memory and we wish upon a past, and sometimes it’s all that keeps us going, and sometimes it holds us back.But tonight the moon is glowing and my heart is beating fast so lay me down for now and keep the fire going. And let’s just take a minute as we say our goodbyes. I want to take my time here with you, want to look you in the eyes. Never was a word that could easily describe what this silence here between us says as we walk into the night. Yeah let’s just take a minute before we say our goodbyes. I want to take my time here with you, want to look you in the eyes. If forever is a dream, I will lay here by your side and let it sleep between us as we walk into the...

about

A slow exploration of nature's cycles of life, death, and rebirth.

credits

released September 29, 2017

All songs written by Amber Rubarth (c) 2017.

Produced by Matt Andrews and Amber Rubarth.

Recorded analogue to 2" tape by Matt Andrews at Big Iron Studios (East Nashville, TN).
Mixed to 1/4" tape by Matt Andrews and Amber Rubarth.
Mastered by Brad Blackwell in Memphis, TN.

Musicians:
Matt Andrews - Additional Percussion, Clocks, Banjo
Josh Day - Drums and Percussion (#3 and #7)
Ryan Madora - Electric Bass
Amber Rubarth - Vocals, Guitar, Mellotron

Cover photo by Anna Webber.
Illustrations by Georg Dionysius Ehret.
Album design by Amber Rubarth.

Thank you for listening. Limited edition handmade items, vinyl, and more at shop.AmberRubarth.com

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Amber Rubarth Nashville, Tennessee

In her unassuming yet beguiling way, Amber Rubarth draws you into a world where wonder and insight weave a poetic tapestry with “songs so strong they sound like classics” (Acoustic Guitar).

She has toured extensively through Europe, Africa, Asia and the US including Carnegie Hall, and has composed for numerous films. She makes her acting debut co-starring in 'American Folk,' out now on Amazon.
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