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You're Not Gonna Stop Me

by Amber Rubarth

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about

** As heard on "Party of Five" TV episode 8, Feb. 19, 2020

In March last year I was in a pretty intense bike accident in East Nashville and had a severe concussion, was knocked unconscious for about 5 hours until I woke in the hospital in a state of disorientation of time and space. I woke up alone staring at a hospital ceiling with scattered memories from the past couple weeks tossed out of order like fallen playing cards, trying to figure out which was the most recent. My body was wildly scraped up, right elbow broken, jaw fully out of place…. it was all quite a shake physically. But there was another side simultaneously which felt immediately sacred and healing. Friends poured by and showed such love and caring, made and delivered food, helped dress my wounds, sent flowers, and slept over once the doctor offered I could go home if I didn’t stay alone, as I was still fainting from the concussion. The overwhelming sense I felt during the recovery process was one of deep gratitude and joy. Everything I needed was here, and it forced me to rely on other people for most things when I naturally have such a deep tendency to try and not ask for help. Twelve days after it happened, I was able to walk and move around much better, and went to write with my friend Jake Etheridge in Nashville. He’s a fantastic musician and songwriter and the process of writing with him always feels like a joyous exploration of an idea. On the way to his studio (about a 12 minute drive from my house in East Nashville) a little melody popped in my head with the words, “You’re not gonna stop me” repeating almost mantra-like. It expressed this unexpected feeling of having more energy and forward movement because of the resistance, a new charge of vitality and empowerment born from the pressure. And when I got to the studio and started writing with Jake, the song emerged effortlessly, written and recorded in about 3 hours flat. We tied the idea of what pushes against us from the outside world with what pushes against us in our own internal world of insecurities, self-doubt, old traumas, and how those all can propel us forward and lead to more strength.

I’m honored that this song was chosen for the new series of “Party of Five,” a story of 5 Mexican-American siblings whose parents get taken away by ICE, and they must learn to take care of each other. It feels like a very compassionate look at a greater issue that is so timely right now.

There’s a story I learned a long time ago where mama chickens have to watch their babies struggle to break out of their egg, and while they could do a quick little tap of their beak to break it open for them, they must watch passively and allow the tiny wet baby to push and struggle until they break the egg from the inside or the baby won’t ever develop its muscles to fly. I think of this often, how essential these things that push against us are in our greater story. I hope this song invites people to view internal and external struggles as a beautiful opportunity for us each to grow.
-Amber

lyrics

"You're Not Gonna Stop Me"
Written by Amber Rubarth & Jake Etheridge (c) 2020

- - - - - - - - - - -
I feel the fire on my skin
It’s been driving me away
I pick myself back up again It ain’t getting me today

No you’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
No you’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me

Crowds of thoughts in my way
Been pushing me around
I know it ain’t true what they say
They’re just trying to take me down

No you’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
No you’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me

I walked the wire oh so thin
Held my breath, counted to ten
It took me higher than I’ve ever been
So I’ll do it again
I’ll do it again

You’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
No you’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me
You’re not gonna stop me

credits

released February 19, 2020
Written by AMBER RUBARTH (ASCAP) and JAKE ETHERIDGE (ASCAP) (c) 2020
Painting by EMILY LAMB www.EmilyLamb.co.uk

Release: Feb. 19, 2020 Amber Rubarth / Tone Tree Music (c) 2020

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Amber Rubarth Nashville, Tennessee

In her unassuming yet beguiling way, Amber Rubarth draws you into a world where wonder and insight weave a poetic tapestry with “songs so strong they sound like classics” (Acoustic Guitar).

She has toured extensively through Europe, Africa, Asia and the US including Carnegie Hall, and has composed for numerous films. She makes her acting debut co-starring in 'American Folk,' out now on Amazon.
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